I saw myself struggling in the water. It was tiring and I was drowning....
I drowned! As I descend, I felt it was all quiet. Very still, very quiet, very cooling, I suddenly felt very good, I wished I could remain there for a while more, just a while more..... BUT I can't, I remembered I need to breathe! I need to breathe.... my breadth is almost gone. I swam up to the surface of the water and took a BIG gulp air down into my lungs.
I am alive. He holds my hand, He rescues me from all circumstances.
Psalm 23
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Forgiveness and Healing
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you" by Lewis B. Smedes.
Isaiah 61
The Year of the LORD’s Favor
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.
Am on 40 Days of Love Campaign. This week will be on Love is forgiving... Looking forward to more insights from our young people!
Isaiah 61
The Year of the LORD’s Favor
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.
Am on 40 Days of Love Campaign. This week will be on Love is forgiving... Looking forward to more insights from our young people!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
NO BEST.........
Spend the whole morning at the Botanical Garden seeking God. Was advised to mediate on Psalm 73…
Not that fruitful initially as heart was disturbed and heavy.
Do I have a pure heart? Verse 1
Well, I guess my heart should be contaminated with little dots, may not be totally pure but definitely striving to be pure…
But Am I keeping my heart pure in vain (verse 13)? Well, we can’t deny that it is extremely tough seeing wicked thriving and carefree and increasing in wealth!
21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
23 Yet I am always with you; (Thank God for YET!)
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
I must be really grateful that no matter how I felt, YET I am always with Him and He will guide me with His counsel.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you. (Again, I am thinking surely I have other desire beside Him)
26 My flesh and my heart may fail, (many times in fact)
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever. (Without doubt HE is my strength!)
27 Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds. (MY Faith and Hope)
As I realised that I don't seem to be receiving much revelation from the Lord except my own contemplation and prayer, I decided to just walk round the park…. And there and then, I realized He was trying to speak to me from the beginning….
As I was approaching the spot that I choose, there was another bench that I thought was great but you see, I have the tendency to always look out for the perfect spot, one where there will be water, shade, less crowd, beautiful view etc etc. But as I was seated at my perfect spot, I saw that the ‘not so perfect benches’ were happily been enjoyed by other park goers, joggers, children… Then I looked at the beautiful tree in front of me and took many pictures of it before I started walking… And as I moved around, many things captured my attention. The lilies (purple, red, white, blue, pink) in the ponds, the different kinds and colours of orchids, the ginger plant flowers and many other flowers, lake and ponds, more benches with great view, more trees with amazing growth and structure and I could not stop taking pictures of them all.
As it was time to leave, I was trying to find the shortest route back to the food court and as I was walking back using a different way which I presume was a great alternative route, I felt the Lord telling me something again. "Julie, there is no best in all that You have seen." "No best?" I asked.... "Yes, no best... no best spot, no best bench, no best flower, no best tree, not best route, no best way...."
All things are placed where they should be and all things are there to serve its purpose and all things are created by Him and for Him in its glory and beauty… And He is in all things… Like the garden, the Chief landscaper of the garden will need to look at the whole place and craft out the different spots for different purposes for those coming to enjoy the garden. The whole botanical garden evolved through all the years to meet the various expectations of its existence and every part of it will be appreciated by different people coming for different purposes. The creative Chief landscaper will always be there to twit or redesign the whole place so that the whole garden will be at its most optimum to serve the needs of many. Will there ever be a BEST in any areas in the garden then?
Julie, Do you know what I am trying to tell you? I am definitely still pondering on the whole revelation. I won't presume to know now but I am trying to be guided in His counsel and to be near Him and make Him my refuge...as the psalmist had concluded...
Not that fruitful initially as heart was disturbed and heavy.
Do I have a pure heart? Verse 1
Well, I guess my heart should be contaminated with little dots, may not be totally pure but definitely striving to be pure…
But Am I keeping my heart pure in vain (verse 13)? Well, we can’t deny that it is extremely tough seeing wicked thriving and carefree and increasing in wealth!
21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
23 Yet I am always with you; (Thank God for YET!)
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
I must be really grateful that no matter how I felt, YET I am always with Him and He will guide me with His counsel.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you. (Again, I am thinking surely I have other desire beside Him)
26 My flesh and my heart may fail, (many times in fact)
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever. (Without doubt HE is my strength!)
27 Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds. (MY Faith and Hope)
As I realised that I don't seem to be receiving much revelation from the Lord except my own contemplation and prayer, I decided to just walk round the park…. And there and then, I realized He was trying to speak to me from the beginning….
As I was approaching the spot that I choose, there was another bench that I thought was great but you see, I have the tendency to always look out for the perfect spot, one where there will be water, shade, less crowd, beautiful view etc etc. But as I was seated at my perfect spot, I saw that the ‘not so perfect benches’ were happily been enjoyed by other park goers, joggers, children… Then I looked at the beautiful tree in front of me and took many pictures of it before I started walking… And as I moved around, many things captured my attention. The lilies (purple, red, white, blue, pink) in the ponds, the different kinds and colours of orchids, the ginger plant flowers and many other flowers, lake and ponds, more benches with great view, more trees with amazing growth and structure and I could not stop taking pictures of them all.
As it was time to leave, I was trying to find the shortest route back to the food court and as I was walking back using a different way which I presume was a great alternative route, I felt the Lord telling me something again. "Julie, there is no best in all that You have seen." "No best?" I asked.... "Yes, no best... no best spot, no best bench, no best flower, no best tree, not best route, no best way...."
All things are placed where they should be and all things are there to serve its purpose and all things are created by Him and for Him in its glory and beauty… And He is in all things… Like the garden, the Chief landscaper of the garden will need to look at the whole place and craft out the different spots for different purposes for those coming to enjoy the garden. The whole botanical garden evolved through all the years to meet the various expectations of its existence and every part of it will be appreciated by different people coming for different purposes. The creative Chief landscaper will always be there to twit or redesign the whole place so that the whole garden will be at its most optimum to serve the needs of many. Will there ever be a BEST in any areas in the garden then?
Julie, Do you know what I am trying to tell you? I am definitely still pondering on the whole revelation. I won't presume to know now but I am trying to be guided in His counsel and to be near Him and make Him my refuge...as the psalmist had concluded...
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Alone but for the Lord
We have companions in Joy; sorrow we have to face ourselves. It is also true that unless we have Jesus with us in the darkness, we have no one.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1855-1919), an American Poet , wrote,
Laugh and the world laughs with you; Weep and you weep alone.
Was in deep thoughts when mediating Psalm 142 of David, visualizing when he is all alone in the cave over many days. Also received more insights as I study James Montgomery Boice's Expositional Commentary on this Psalm.
Psalm 142
A maskil of David. When he was in the cave. A prayer.
1 I cry aloud to the LORD;
I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.
2 I pour out my complaint before him;
before him I tell my trouble.
3 When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is you who know my way.
In the path where I walk
men have hidden a snare for me.
4 Look to my right and see;
no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
no one cares for my life.
5 I cry to you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living."
6 Listen to my cry,
for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.
7 Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me.
It is really true that when we are in desperate need that we can cry out to the Lord and from where we are climb the first summit of Faith and then the second, like David in verse 5. I look towards the Day when the righteous gather about me because of Your Goodness to me!
Psalm 23:6
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1855-1919), an American Poet , wrote,
Laugh and the world laughs with you; Weep and you weep alone.
Was in deep thoughts when mediating Psalm 142 of David, visualizing when he is all alone in the cave over many days. Also received more insights as I study James Montgomery Boice's Expositional Commentary on this Psalm.
Psalm 142
A maskil of David. When he was in the cave. A prayer.
1 I cry aloud to the LORD;
I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.
2 I pour out my complaint before him;
before him I tell my trouble.
3 When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is you who know my way.
In the path where I walk
men have hidden a snare for me.
4 Look to my right and see;
no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
no one cares for my life.
5 I cry to you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living."
6 Listen to my cry,
for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.
7 Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me.
It is really true that when we are in desperate need that we can cry out to the Lord and from where we are climb the first summit of Faith and then the second, like David in verse 5. I look towards the Day when the righteous gather about me because of Your Goodness to me!
Psalm 23:6
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
Be Still, My soul
A dear friend sms this whole song to me... I love the lyrics below by Kim Noblitt. I hope the words of the song minister to you as much as it is to me. To Be still is indeed a spiritual disclipline....
Be still, my soul, be still, my soul
Cease from the labour and the toil
Refreshing springs of peace await
To troubled minds and hearts that ache
Be still, my soul - God knows your way
And he will guide for his name's sake
Plunge in the river of his grace
Rest in the arms of his embrace
Be still, my soul, be still, my soul
Though battles 'round you rage and roar
One thing you need and nothing more
To hear the whisper of you Lord:
"Be still, my child - I know your way
And I will guide for my name's sake
Plunge in the rivers of my grace
Rest in the arms of my embrace"
Be still, my soul, be still, my soul
Cease from the labour and the toil
Refreshing springs of peace await
To troubled minds and hearts that ache
Be still, my soul - God knows your way
And he will guide for his name's sake
Plunge in the river of his grace
Rest in the arms of his embrace
Be still, my soul, be still, my soul
Though battles 'round you rage and roar
One thing you need and nothing more
To hear the whisper of you Lord:
"Be still, my child - I know your way
And I will guide for my name's sake
Plunge in the rivers of my grace
Rest in the arms of my embrace"
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Condemnation of Our Hearts
Do you ever feel your own hearts condemning you? It's different from what the mind is telling us. It seems that the mind and heart are not meeting... that your hearts tell you you are not good enough, your hearts felt weak and oppressed.
Well, if that is you, just like it was me, the Word of God provides a beautiful deliverance!
1 John 3
18Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 19This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence 20whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.
21Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God 22and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him.
OBEDIENCE AND ACTION is how we can set our hearts at rest in His presence.
It is a difficult process but not impossible. And after which, we can have the confidence before God and RECEIVE from HIM ANYTHING WE ASK!
Not a bad deal at all.... if you know what I meant...
Well, if that is you, just like it was me, the Word of God provides a beautiful deliverance!
1 John 3
18Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 19This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence 20whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.
21Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God 22and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him.
OBEDIENCE AND ACTION is how we can set our hearts at rest in His presence.
It is a difficult process but not impossible. And after which, we can have the confidence before God and RECEIVE from HIM ANYTHING WE ASK!
Not a bad deal at all.... if you know what I meant...
Sunday, March 29, 2009
True Goodness Is Only Reached by Abandonment
It's been a while updating the blog. Wanted very much to update on a few birthdays in March especially Evangeline's but alas, was too busy especially during this economic downturn. The businesses, ministry and family had been extremely stretched.
However, I was called to much attention and prayer this last week for a dear dear friend. Something unforeseen had befallen her family and she was suddenly called yet again to care for and be responsible for the whole family. As much as she is very capable, the realisation that one cannot control all circumstances, health and sickness, life and death can be difficult to conceive and manage.
Letter 7 by Fenelon, Let Go, Page 12 brings much enlightenment to her situation.
"Evil circumstances are changed into good when they are received with an enduring trust in the love of God, while good circumstances may be changed into evil when we become attached through the love of self. Nothing in us or around us is truly good until we become detached from the world and totally abandoned to God. So even though you are now in this bad circumstances, put yourself confidently and without reserve into His hand. I would give anything to see you in better circumstances but if evil circumstances had taught you to be sick of the love of the world, then that is good. That love of self, which the world advocates, is a thousand times more dangerous than any poison. I pray for you with all my heart."
I struggled too with what has happened to my dear friend's situation. However, I also see this as an opportunity for her to find the true source of PEACE and the surrender of the WILL. May her circumstance be changed to good (Romans 8:28) especially I know in her heart, she loves the Lord since she was very young.
It is not going to be any easy journey as peace and comfort can be found nowhere except in Simplicity and Obedience. I will not cease praying for her especially for her soul to be quiet and still in Him! And for a miracle to happen in her family. May John 11 : 38 - 44 be manifested in her family. I hope to see the GLORY of GOD in her situation.
Jesus Raises Lazarus From the Dead
Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. "Take away the stone," he said.
"But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days."
Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"
So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me."
When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.
Jesus said to them, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go."
However, I was called to much attention and prayer this last week for a dear dear friend. Something unforeseen had befallen her family and she was suddenly called yet again to care for and be responsible for the whole family. As much as she is very capable, the realisation that one cannot control all circumstances, health and sickness, life and death can be difficult to conceive and manage.
Letter 7 by Fenelon, Let Go, Page 12 brings much enlightenment to her situation.
"Evil circumstances are changed into good when they are received with an enduring trust in the love of God, while good circumstances may be changed into evil when we become attached through the love of self. Nothing in us or around us is truly good until we become detached from the world and totally abandoned to God. So even though you are now in this bad circumstances, put yourself confidently and without reserve into His hand. I would give anything to see you in better circumstances but if evil circumstances had taught you to be sick of the love of the world, then that is good. That love of self, which the world advocates, is a thousand times more dangerous than any poison. I pray for you with all my heart."
I struggled too with what has happened to my dear friend's situation. However, I also see this as an opportunity for her to find the true source of PEACE and the surrender of the WILL. May her circumstance be changed to good (Romans 8:28) especially I know in her heart, she loves the Lord since she was very young.
It is not going to be any easy journey as peace and comfort can be found nowhere except in Simplicity and Obedience. I will not cease praying for her especially for her soul to be quiet and still in Him! And for a miracle to happen in her family. May John 11 : 38 - 44 be manifested in her family. I hope to see the GLORY of GOD in her situation.
Jesus Raises Lazarus From the Dead
Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. "Take away the stone," he said.
"But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days."
Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"
So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me."
When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.
Jesus said to them, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go."
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Salvation and Strength
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength" Isiah 30:15
When we repent and stop fighting within ourselves, we rest and we are saved.
When we keep silent and surrender to a higher Being, we trust and we know we are strengthen especially in our heart.
The irony is we don't repent (I have done nothing wrong.. is that true?), we don't rest (there are so many things to do, how to rest?), we don't keep quiet (in our soul) and we don't trust (our unseen God) ...
True for all, or is just plain me? Indeed in quietness and silence, our soul does cry out for help. And the solution is right before our eyes. The Word of God will never return void. So what are we waiting for?
My encouragement to all my dearest friends, the Sovereign Lord SAVES and He STRENGTHENS!
in quietness and trust is your strength" Isiah 30:15
When we repent and stop fighting within ourselves, we rest and we are saved.
When we keep silent and surrender to a higher Being, we trust and we know we are strengthen especially in our heart.
The irony is we don't repent (I have done nothing wrong.. is that true?), we don't rest (there are so many things to do, how to rest?), we don't keep quiet (in our soul) and we don't trust (our unseen God) ...
True for all, or is just plain me? Indeed in quietness and silence, our soul does cry out for help. And the solution is right before our eyes. The Word of God will never return void. So what are we waiting for?
My encouragement to all my dearest friends, the Sovereign Lord SAVES and He STRENGTHENS!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Birthdays!
The eve of every year's birthday is always special for me. I will journal, give thanks to God Almighty, reflect hard on the past year and pray for all my family and dear friends.
This year, I have way delayed my entry. Last year was celebrating I crossed my mid thirties. This year, I am thoughtful about nearing 40! One may think it is still 3 years away BUT it is nearing... And I am retreating...
40 will be a significant year and I must make sure that my next 3 years will be fruitful and fulfilled! But I am not so confident...
My consolation - Elissaline is so excited with her 4th Birthday! And so proud she is turning 4!
Irony of Life isn't it?
My prayer and focus this year:
Jeremiah 17:7-8
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."
Sunday, January 11, 2009
LET GO by Fenelon
LETTER 24
Only Imperfection Is Intolerant of Imperfection
"And nobody will deny that the imperfections of others cause us a lot of inconvenience! But it will be enough if you are willing to be patient with imperfections, ..., Do not allow yourself to turn away from people because of their imperfections. If there is one mark of perfection, it is simply that it can tolerate the imperfections of others. It is able to adjust. It become all things to all men... "
A friend from my ex-company commented to me constantly how big-hearted I am especially towards the failings or imperfections in others. She has observed me and admired that grace she have seen which encourages her greatly. I give Glory to God because it is a labour to be patient with the weaknesses of other people and I am constantly struggling. Most times, I overcome.
But now, I am still struggling with this imperfection in ME. I have a problem. For someone, after much prayer, inward cries and petition, seeking the will of God, getting disappointed again and again, I am turning cold, and I am trying not to associate at all, and to avoid.
See, I am so imperfect. And I need my perfect Saviour!
Only Imperfection Is Intolerant of Imperfection
"And nobody will deny that the imperfections of others cause us a lot of inconvenience! But it will be enough if you are willing to be patient with imperfections, ..., Do not allow yourself to turn away from people because of their imperfections. If there is one mark of perfection, it is simply that it can tolerate the imperfections of others. It is able to adjust. It become all things to all men... "
A friend from my ex-company commented to me constantly how big-hearted I am especially towards the failings or imperfections in others. She has observed me and admired that grace she have seen which encourages her greatly. I give Glory to God because it is a labour to be patient with the weaknesses of other people and I am constantly struggling. Most times, I overcome.
But now, I am still struggling with this imperfection in ME. I have a problem. For someone, after much prayer, inward cries and petition, seeking the will of God, getting disappointed again and again, I am turning cold, and I am trying not to associate at all, and to avoid.
See, I am so imperfect. And I need my perfect Saviour!
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